Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
