so explain again why im purple
no
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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