will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
