Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
