Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
