that's an acceptable place to lick
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
