I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
