everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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