if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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