Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
