whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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