So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
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