I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
