Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
