margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
