put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
