everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
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