Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Sorry my hands just texted you
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
