I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
