I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
