at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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