im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
