Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
