is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
