Whats the glycemic index on semen?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
