what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
