I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
