READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Randomize
