i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize