I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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