will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
