doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize