I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
