Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
My balls are so social today.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Randomize
