Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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