I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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