discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
this boner is exhausting
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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