He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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