So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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