Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
My cat gives me a boner
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
