yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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