so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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