we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
ugly people sure do ruin things
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
