Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
