Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
