Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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