I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
