I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
