I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
