I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
