Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize