the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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