i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i think im in europe. pls send help
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
