I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
