Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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