The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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