hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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