It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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