I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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