My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
