How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
