I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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