My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
